If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
