I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
