I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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