i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
