his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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