I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
