Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
