In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
