dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
