Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Farmville is her only friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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