its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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