Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
