We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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