shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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