if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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