alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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