why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
