Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
