so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
