Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
