My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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