the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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