She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
