Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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