Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
