afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just pee around me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
