Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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