I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
