fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
