That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
