What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
