Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
