a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
