jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
