she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
