he puts the penis in happiness.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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