when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
