There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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