you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
