hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize