'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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