dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
