He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.