There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!