the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.