I smell stomach acid.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on