Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?