i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.