you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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