How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
