Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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