wrigley field is MILF paradise
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
