doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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