i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
