I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
