She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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