Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
