HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
