I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
