I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
