People in love make me want to vomit
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
