she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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