Will you blow on my dice?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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