Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize