i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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