Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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