very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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