So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
P.S. I can't hear my feet
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
