It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
