I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
